dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
