He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
