I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he fucked my hip out of place.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
