'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
