As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm always down for nudity.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
