Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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