I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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