I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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