i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
