are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
