Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
