At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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