Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
