I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
