He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
