I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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