I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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