so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
