i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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