Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize