wake up i wanna do it froggy style
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
