walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
