Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
