we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
