Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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