She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize