It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
