i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
