i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
