i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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