I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
