so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
