Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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