I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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