so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
