I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
