I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
