Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
