You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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