You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
