just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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