but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
