wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
