Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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