I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
