i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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