I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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