she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
