he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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