is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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