Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
