my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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