He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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