I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
