would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
