i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
