Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
