How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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