I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
