you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
