Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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