just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
