Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
