The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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