I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
