bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
