every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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