dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
