'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
love makes seman taste better
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
