How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
These tits shall not be calmed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
