So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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