haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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