She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
