Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize