yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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